Fond--Fondly--Fondle-y

To think of someone in an affectionate manner is to be fond of them. Now the word fondly is the adverb version of the adjective and it's prefix, 'fond'. To surreptitiously grope them in front of their spouse or others would be fondle-y. Good, let's continue.

Tit for Tat

What I mean by this is, what's good enough for the goose is good enough for the gander--metaphors aside...if I get to fuck other people (women), so does he. *sigh*

CDD

Christian Domestic Discipline.

ouch.

Bent

He he he he

Open Relationship

While I refer to an open marriage or relationship, there are many versions of said relationship. The version to which I am referring is a marriage that allows for other people to be a part of the sexual dynamics of the relationship. Whether the third is a permanent part of the dyad or whether thirds come and go depending on the needs of the couple is of no consequence; what matters here is monogamy is not the hard and fast rule. Back to business.

Ensuring that I dont' appear Heterosexist

Or asshole or mouth for those of the same sex male variety or the orally fixated – the idea here is to not be exclusionary – .I just need a dark hole for the metaphor to work.

Vice

I know I promised to divulge the meaning of "Bent" and "Vice", but I don’t think it will be today. I need more readership before I divulge the big secret behind our names. One very cool side benefit is that nearly every time I write "Vice" there is at least a double, triple or quadruple entendre. I love Vice.

Black Hole's Metaphoric (Not Meteroic) Definition

Black holes, the bastard child of relativity that suck all the fun out of the universe, are an interesting metaphor for dark things you can’t escape. A dark hole you can’t escape . . .If I say anything else, I'm in serious shit.

True Story

No really, she did. I came back and put in the footnote later -- much later.

Cliffhangers

The cliffhanger has long been a mechanism to increase readership. Now, at this point I don’t have a readership, hell, I probably don’t have a reader. Cyberspace blogging can be so fucking depressing, no wonder David Foster Wallace killed himself, and he actually published books that people pretended to have read. The problem is I’m not Charles Dickens writing Great Expectations for a serial publications back when people actually read, I’m Bent and twisting in the cyber wind of digital fucking, but I’m still not going to tell you yet what "Bent" and "Vice" mean. Stay tune.

Thongs in a Twist

Before you feminists get your panties in a bunch or your g-strings up your ass crack, I mean "cunt extraordinaire" in the context of her cunt is extraordinary, not in any way a negative reference to her gender, but rather to her anatomical gifts. If you are offended by that and female, then you are a "cunt extraordinaire" in all the horrific patriarchal and masculine ways you can think of and should click on this link now to take you to the National Organization of Women, if on the other hand you are the 20% of the population that actually understands irony, please click here to return to the blog.

Conjunction Junction

Conjunction reminds me of conjoin and a crossing, a bringing together of disparate things into one. Junction is a crossing, a combining, a fucking if you will. This means "and" is the only true conjunction. "But" is a concurve, taking one thing and then sending you around the curve in another direction. "Or" is a conopposite, a non-fucking if you will. "Male and female" is vastly superior to "male or female", but even "or" can be redeemed by "and", i.e. "Male or female and male and female" is an excellent menage a trois image made possible only by the "and". You have got to love the fucking "and."

Mundane-ity

I know the word is mundane, but mundane-ity has that magical ring implying a boring insanity. Someday I’m going to actually create a word that ends up in the dictionary.

For future reference the links on words are this blog’s version of footnotes. The link is the only logical way to footnote a blog. Footnotes were always a distraction I loved, maybe because I have a limited attention span spawned by the constant media advertising barrage that limits attention spans to somewhere between 15 seconds and 15 minutes. The blog reader's limited attention span prompts me to write diversions directly into my blog narrative. So if you are reading this, you need to work on your attention span. Also, I have to make a tribute in my initial footnote to David Foster Wallace, who bit it last week at his own hand.

Click here to return to the narrative from which I have distracted you.