VPILE

VPILF is, of course (for the acronymically challenged) Vice President I'd Like to Eat. A shameless spin (hey this IS politics, after all) on the MILF acronym.

Now, when I say 'eat' let me be clear....

Okay....back to the point.

The "Right" to Appeal

One of the eternal difficulties in legal theory is crafting a judicial system that provides consistent results and predictability while allowing for the greatest amount of liberty and the least amount of harm. The easiest resolution to this problem is to grant judges wide discretion to make decisions. The downside to judicial flexibility is lack of predictable outcomes and the possibility of an unjust judge. Fundamental concepts of justice are used to temper the ability of a judge to run amok – due process, habeas corpus, and jury trials. If all of that fails, you have the right to appeal.

So translated into a relationship context for a traditional relationship:

"Do" Process: "Honey, would you do this for me."

Habeas Corpus: Let her know where your body is at -- at all times.

Jury Trials: It really does matter what her friends think about you.

Right to Appeal: She is your Circut Court of Appeals and your Supreme Court.

Sometimes, I just aggravate myself for writing drivel that sounds like stuff someone would mass email around the globe and yes, I feel the dumber for having succumbed and even dumber for having posted this.

Vice

Other than Vice, of course.

Back to Reading.

Ten From the Big Guy 2.0

The obvious example of the stone written code of conduct is of course the 10 Commandments, of which the Pentateuch gives us two or three versions (Exodus 34:10-26; Exodus 20:2:17 and Deuteronomy 5:6-21) and which if the story is to be believed, Moses scrapped the Commandments Version 1.0 dashing them on a rock and we are left with Commandments Version 2.0.

MILF

Mother I'd Like to Fuck.

I have been referred to that by some of my daughters male friends. It feels nice to be recognized as hot, until you realize that they were in the 6th grade when you hit your sexual prime.

Ah well.

The Reason Kafka is Sexy

From a phonetic standpoint, the hard consonant "k" repeated sounds a lot like a good hard fuck, that "k" being the clapping sound of flesh striking flesh, which has a lovely symbiotic relationship to at least one version of the history of the word "fuck", which claims it came from an old German word meaning to strike. You don’t think a "k" sounds like a good manly hammering?

Read the following sentence and tell me if you can’t hear the head board slamming.

Fucked and licked, sucked and dicked, kunt and kock, kome, Kafka, kome, Kafka, kome, Kafka, kome.

Literalist in Hell

I’m on a bit of a literalist kick this morning. The fundamentalist states that hell is hot, which wouldn’t be so hot, would it? Just a thought.

IST ANGST

Besides being cliched, the idea that men are emotionally incapable is an incredibly sexist comment. The lauding of the superiority of any gender, race, political party, philosophy is the quickest way to “IST” hell. Think about it. If all your thinking can be encapsulated in any term ending in -IST, you need to either rethink your position or simply start to think. “-IST” thinking is shallow, dogmatic and too literalist. Being an IST is about being in a box.

Honestly, this has nothing to do with the dentist that put me under, with ether of all things, and proceeded to only get half my tooth extracted before I woke up screaming in agony. If I hadn’t rammed the tooth in my skull with a pogo stick, I wouldn’t have even graced his sadistic door. Dentists are just fucking weird anyway. It is not a mistake that there is a Dentist in Little Shop of Horrors. Where do you think they came up with the title to the show, the man eating plant? Unless you are some kind of horticulturist, the only little shop of horrors in that show is the dentist chair replete with medieval torture devices.

Other IST lists exist, but I created my own Icky IST List:

Racist
Fundamentalist
Capitalist
Communist
Socialist
Fascist
Feminist
Masculinist
Economist
Religionist
Atheist
Egoist
Egotist
Orthodontist
Dentist
Hairstylist

I am not an anti-ist-ist. There are some IST words that I find quite appealing, such as fist, mist, list (of course), abolitionist, and most certainly gynecologist (and if you say that was sexist you are completely missing out on the point of this incredible digression).

The point is labels not only define, they confine.

I guess that makes me a nonconformist.

Embedded Political Statement

If the Department of Defense can embed journalists into combat units, I'm going to embed a video into my blog. I've just got this thing for librarians, but usually librarians can articulate. I'm fortunate that Vice (not the Vice Presidential canididate, and god forbid she becomes the Vice President) has the sexy brunette, librarian thing going and she is articulate. I am going to "in bed" Vice and embed this minor political statement about the VP candidate.

My Country

The United States – I’m not so nationalistic and naive so as not to realize that the Internet is global, that I'm using a double negative and that someone outside of the 48 continental and its two bastard children, Hawaii and Alaska might actually stumble across this blog.

Verbal Fucking

This is not just about talking dirty--your typical porn talk : "Yeah, yeah, fuck me, harder! Yeah!"

NO.

This is about caressing my inner ear as if a tongue traced along my slit, lightly touching it until I eagerly beg for more. This is about words, punctuated by a medley of innuendo so slight yet powerful as to make my clit stand at attention. This is about massaging my mind and opening it gently, peeling back every fold until the very opening is exposed to reveal a hungry aperture, slick and eager for another penetrating utterance.

Now, back to my musings....